|Two dozen roses from my work mates.|
I have been MIA on the blog for most of February and March. Apart from trying to get my health on track since December. Its been an emotional few months as I have been transitioning out of a classroom I have called my second home for more than 10 years. I have been packing up my props and resources over the last 8 weeks and Friday was my last day. It was a roller coaster of tears and funny memories with the ladies I can say are some of my best friends. How did I end up in this place of transition? Last Fall I had a vivid dream of being in a new childcare centre and woke up with a sense of something new stirring in my heart. Previously, I was filled with anxiety and fear when the thought of transferring out of my career home. See, I work for a big association and staff can be bounced around as needs change within the center, anywhere between Newcastle, Uxbridge, and as far West as Mississauga. When the weekly employment postings went live in mid December, I saw a posting for a newly constructed childcare that would be opening in Spring 2017. I applied and was surprised to get a phone call inviting me to join the new team. Excitement for what was ahead, stayed with with me for February, but as March passed by in a blink, the mixed feelings of sadness began to creep over my days at work. Plus I've been moody and brooding at home. Please don't think I regret my decision to step out and apply for a transfer. I am looking forward to building new relationships with the children and families I will serve and meeting my new coworkers. And I feel confident enough in my teaching skills to build a rich classroom environment from scratch.
I don't usually consider myself an emotional person, but my emotions have been close to the surface and every sad news report or social media share has hit me harder than normal. This is the main reason for my distance from social media in the last few weeks. One of my favourite authors, Walter Wangerin, wrote about transitions and losses, and how they can cause different feelings similar to mourning. As I re-read "Mourning into Dancing" by Wangerin, I recognized that I have been anticipating the loss of my current coworkers and their strong support system and companionship all these weeks. I walked through the doors of my old workplace as a novice teaching aid at age 26, I'm going to be 42 this summer. Recognizing that it is okay to be sad for the losses, does not diminish the value of what is to come. This conclusion has given me peace, and it was hard won with mental wrestling and long sessions with Pink Floyd's Pulse CD.
I am determined to dance into my new adventure on Monday.