Reflecting on 2016: Moments of Loss and Memories of Love.

This is the week that often leaves me feeling like a deflated balloon. The build up to Christmas and jam packed days of festivities is over and the days of the old year are winding down.  I am sad for the beloved ones who are no longer on earth to share Christmas with, and the separation from loved ones who live too far away.  Here we are, with less than ten hours left to this year, and my girl is building up to the excitement of the beginning of a new one. I don't get super excited about New Years Eve the way I did as a kid and teen. We usually stay home and eat all the holiday food we have bought or prepared and didn't have time to eat at Christmas. My seven year old decided she wants to stay up to midnight for the first time so she will be joining in the annual movie and junk food countdown.

This is supposed to be the time for reflection on what moments and memories we have lived in the last 364 days, and the time to make wishes or goals for the next 365.

1. One major highlight for 2016 was having my mom and sister visiting for a week in July. We don't see each other often but make the most of our treasured moments when we get them.

2. My girl asked me to take photos of her with two different trees this year, she has become the resident tree hugger. The large pine was on our front lawn for 30 years and had to be taken down because it was a danger to the house. It had been capped twice and just continued to expand in width.

3. This random photo made me laugh as I scrolled through my archive. I imagine the cat is sending subliminal messages to feed her fresh salmon.

4. I marked my 41st birthday with a tattoo, it is one of the traditional meanings of my name. It also is a permanent memorial for my loved ones who have received their wings.

5 & 8. I had moments of splendour, where nature blessed me with the vision of a double rainbow in the spring and a big praying mantis in my yard this summer.

6. My girl was thrilled to finally join the ranks of her pumpkin head friends and start losing teeth. The gapped smiles are a rite of passage into big kid turf.

7. I started the year with an eye exam and bifocals. I am terrible at selfies but this captures the first day and the fact that I was not happy to have to wear them.  After 11 months, I'm used to them and have settled into this gift that 40 has delivered.

9. Other special moments came from baking or making something every week with my girl or even alone. I had ignored my creative side since returning to work full time in 2012, and it took me years to figure out why I was crabby and stressed most of the time. The beginning of this year, I made an effort to plan crafts and recipes to complete together weekly.


What's ahead?
I don't do resolutions because they give me added anxiety, and most people don't live up to their resolutions anyway. I am looking forward to the fresh start and potential that 2017 may hold. I have been feeling stuck in my profession and looking for a challenge, so was brave in applying for a transfer to a new location after 15 years in my current location. It could be an adventure or add chaos to my busy days with the longer commute. I may have hand delivered an invitation to trouble and have a date with it my near future. We will have to wait and see.

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