Preparing For #SCCTO And It's All About Me!

ShesConnected Conference 2012

As I sit here wide awake since 3:30 am, mostly because of a pesky head cold, but also from the sheer weight of events in my life.  I have to wonder, what the heck am I trying to achieve in this crazy social media circus anyhow?  Do I really need more deadlines, or work to join the host of responsibilities and burdens already on my plate?  Shall I name a few?

A loved one is undergoing radiation therapy for prostate cancer in another province and I have little access to him other than by phone. Can't say anything else about it, the weight of the words is more than I can bear.

My hubby has been unemployed since August 2011. Which leads to the next crazy transition.  We are in the midst of moving into a family member's house and trying to do renovations to the apartment we are leaving.  These must be completed before the October 31 closing or forfeit another months rent. Can you say late-night painting and packing party's?

I'm a college student, so working full-time in a fast paced child care environment, and volunteering 100 hours {per semester} to earn placement credits.

I'm a mom to a lovely little creature we call Princess Destructo. This requires being on call 24/7 with no sick days or rainchecks for playing trains, reading books, or doing laundry.  I feel a constant gnawing guilt for leaving her every day even though I know I have to work and she's in good hands with my hubby being Mr. Mom.

How can I justify leaving my responsibilities to attend a conference?  I've flip flopped between "I'M GOING" and "I CAN'T POSSIBLY GO" for the last 3 weeks. Finally, tonight the answer came, "I'M GOING FOR ME"

Why do I do this thing called blogging?

It's for me.

It forces me to come outside of my own head once in a while.

It has brought me good friendships.

It has taught me how to deal with enemies.

It has given me courage to stand up for what I believe and a voice to shout it to the world wide web.

It is for me.

Blogging started as a way to connect with other parents when I was too depressed to leave the apartment with a newborn.  It's been 3 years and the post-partum depression is manageable, the blog has a modest number of followers. I never set out to be a blog-star, just to get some free stuff once in a while and have my own little piece of internet real estate to blah blah blah on.  When I get too whiny, people hold me accountable. It's a good thing.

That's why I will be dragging myself to a train at 6 am when the rest of my family will be sleeping for another 2 hours.  Last year's conference was a giant leap for this girl with social anxiety and phobias.  Just getting down that huge escalator {at the Sheraton in Toronto}was a feat unto itself.  I know I won't be wasting an hour hiding in the bathroom this year.  I'm going to invest in me and meet some new friends.  Hope to see you there!


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